Shoebox

Shoebox Blog

Chuck & Beans Friday, 18 May 2012, 4:00 pm

Source: Shoebox | brian

Newsdroppings Friday, 18 May 2012, 12:50 pm

200 buffalo escaped from an Iowa farm. Officials speculate that they were dissatisfied with the small number of deer and antelope playing in Iowa.

Brooklyn Decker says the movie “Battleship” isn’t just she and Rihanna sitting around saying “B-4” which, by the way, we would totally watch.  And buy the DVD. And watch all the extras.

A ship that may have sunk almost two hundred years ago has been discovered along with its treasure trove of… ceramic plates.  Surprisingly, the movie rights to this are still available.

Pinterest may be worth over a billion dollars, which can buy you a lot of crock pots and barnwood.

There’s a park in Oklahoma that lets kids pose for pictures with tigers. According to the park’s very enthusiastic spokesman, it’s “Grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!”

Swan eggs are being stolen in a story that is probably not going to turn out to be beautiful.

A child found a finger in his sandwich, so that’s probably his last trip to the “pose with a tiger” park.

She worked hard for the money, so you better treat her legacy right.

Source: Shoebox | Bill

Smithees Thursday, 17 May 2012, 2:00 pm

Source: Shoebox | jsmit13

Newsdroppings Thursday, 17 May 2012, 1:07 pm

For the first time in 20 years, a “ring of fire” eclipse will be visible in the U.S. And now we have that Johnny Cash song stuck in our heads. Which is cool.

7.5 million kids miss a month of school every year. Teachers are apparently unaware of the problem, thanks to that one wisenheimer who keeps saying “Present!” in different voices when other kids’ names are called.

Coffee drinkers live longer. But not by a latte.

Thought bad behavior in professional sports was limited to the NFL and the NBA? Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome baseball!

Do you live in a “well read” city?  Reading this right now doesn’t count.  It counts with us; it counts a lot.  But not for the survey.

You can lead a horse to water.  Then, you need a really good plan to get him out of the water.

Those shoes that were supposed to help your butt, probably didn’t help your butt. But to be fair, neither did those donuts.

There are 4,700 potentially dangerous asteroids coming to earth, according to NASA. Looks like it’s time to call in this guy.

A baby was delivered at a Florida gas station. The mother and child are doing well and are currently recuperating in aisle 3, next to the corn nuts.

Source: Shoebox | Bill

Random Russ Wednesday, 16 May 2012, 4:38 pm

Source: Shoebox | Shelley

Newsdroppings Wednesday, 16 May 2012, 1:17 pm

Facebook is selling more shares to pay the taxes on the money it makes from… selling shares? Probably?  We’re not “friends” with any economics majors, are we?

Your sunscreen might be unsafe. For one thing, you could slip right out of the deck chair.

John Mayer called himself an idiot on Ellen, which saved Taylor Swift the trouble of writing another song.

The oldest female bodybuilder and the oldest yoga instructor are inspirational to those of us planning to become the oldest donut connoisseur one day.  Thank you, ladies! You give us hope.

Katherine Heigl has added another baby to the family which we assume will cause lots of romantic comedy style misunderstandings like running through airports and notes being delivered to the wrong person and finally everything ending just fine while an upbeat pop song plays.

Pitcher Stephen Strasburg accidentally got some hot ointment in an unexpected place during last night’s game. He wouldn’t say where, but the term “low and inside” was used.

A Wisconsin man was arrested after “ninja kicking” another man in the head. What happened to the good old days of civility and throwing stars?

A bear stole a 50-pound bag of sunflower seeds. Authorities suspect the incident may be related to the 275-pound bag of trail mix they recently discovered in the woods.

If you hate needles, not looking at them can make them hurt less. Although not getting poked by them is probably your best bet.

Source: Shoebox | Bill

burbles Tuesday, 15 May 2012, 2:13 pm

Source: Shoebox | Dick

Newsdroppings Tuesday, 15 May 2012, 1:03 pm

 

President Obama apparently knows which Kardashian is which. So, if that’s what you base your vote on, well…sorry…lost our train of thought in a shudder of fear for our country’s future.

Coyotes are invading San Francisco. The really bad part is that where coyotes go, yodeling country singers usually follow.

The new baby name list is out and Jacob and Sophia are at the top.  In your chubby faces, Mason and Isabella!

Kiawah Island was named America’s happiest seaside town. But don’t worry, the unhappiest seaside town will be fine, because they’re still, well, a seaside town.

Here’s a list of America’s nine youngest CEOs, just in case you were feeling good about what you’ve accomplished in your life so far.

A man who robbed an internet café was caught because he forgot to log out of Facebook before the robbery. His “Totally about to rob a café LOL” status was also a tip-off.

UPDATE: That New Jersey town from yesterday’s Newsdroppings did not actually ban texting while walking. Residents breathed a collective sigh of relief as they got up and stretched their legs for the first time in days.

Legally, killer whales have to have companions.  You can end up standing around awkwardly by yourself at this summer’s family reunion and the government won’t care, but killer whales, oh, the killer whales can’t be alone.

A teenage boy’s excessive body spray set off an alarm. He’s telling his teenage boy buddies that it’s because he’s “smokin’ hot.” They’re not buying it.

Source: Shoebox | Bill

Tiny Little Movie Review: Dark Shadows Monday, 14 May 2012, 2:18 pm

When you see “Alice Cooper” in the credits for a movie,  you’re probably going to sit there wondering when Alice Cooper shows up.  Let me put your curious mind at ease, it’s toward the end, and he does a couple of songs.  I don’t feel like this is a spoiler, because you’re going to see it, like I just said, in the credits.

He is not looking absolutely great.  Not 100% great.  To be fair, he’s almost retirement age, which brings some questions to mind.  He’s already a golfer who lives in Arizona, which is basically pre-retiring. Maybe this was all just kind of a pain, being in a movie.  He still tours and that probably goes just like he wants, but movies?  Not his forte, most likely.  You just didn’t get the feeling that he sat in his make-up chair getting his black tears or possibly blood looking stuff on his face while Johnny sat next to him getting his dead a long time look going and they like joked around and the make-up people had to  start over.

But if you let wondering why AC didn’t seem to be all that into it get into your head, that’s going to hurt the movie for you.  So don’t do that, OK?  Go into it knowing that Alice Cooper is going to show up, in full regalia, and he’s going to be… fine.  But only fine.  Let the rest of the movie happen to you, so to speak, as if Alice isn’t going to show up at all.  Then maybe glob on a ton of eyeliner and go play golf.

Source: Shoebox | Dan

Awkward Moments Monday, 14 May 2012, 2:00 pm

Source: Shoebox | Shelley

Newsdroppings Monday, 14 May 2012, 1:13 pm

The Avengers broke the $1 billion barrier, which is not that surprising given a giant guy known for breaking stuff is on their team.

The CEO of Yahoo lost his job because he faked part of his resume. Bet we know what word he’s not saying.

NBC says they’re planning 10 sit-coms in their fall TV line-up. Wow. It’s a great time to be an actress who specializes in playing the goofy best friend.

A New Jersey town has banned texting while walking. Residents responded with disappointment, saying they enjoy walking and really hate to have to give it up.

A man set a world record by fist-pumping for 17 hours straight. He celebrated his achievement by, well, you know.

What face would you make if Jessica Biel were kissing you?  Probably this one.

A skier fell 160 feet in what we’re now considering the best reason ever not to do things.

An 8-year-old made a basket from half court.  Fortunately, it’s only 10 years till he’ll be old enough for the NBA, and the playoffs will still be going on.

This sculpture at the Olympic Village is being described as “the Godzilla of public art”, so look out for a so-so remake of it 50 years from now.

A Florida teacher might be fired for putting a “cone of shame” on her students. On the upside, it looks really good on her.

Source: Shoebox | Bill

Chuck & Beans Friday, 11 May 2012, 4:00 pm

Source: Shoebox | brian

Newsdroppings Friday, 11 May 2012, 1:06 pm

They found a different Mayan calendar that says the world isn’t going to end in 2012 after all. So we’re seriously reconsidering our plan to spend all of our retirement money on fancy phones and movie popcorn.

100 parrots were rescued from a building in Ohio. Authorities were relieved to remove the birds from unhealthy surroundings, but were totally unprepared for all the cracker requests.

Some people are afraid of a mysterious Alaska lake monster, but not us. Nope, we’re feeling pretty brave down here in Missouri.

Adele doesn’t want to be a celebrity. So everyone, please try to be considerate and stop knowing who Adele is. You’re all being very rude.

You thought you’d had enough Kate Middleton, but you know what? There’s no such thing as enough Kate Middleton.  Just ask England.

Howard Stern will join the team at America’s Got Talent where each competition will now conclude with the contestants spanking each other.

Bad news: The Chicago Bulls have been eliminated from the NBA playoffs.  Good news: that leaves 46 teams and another 7 months of playoffs.

Half of American adults are sunburned. Top half, hopefully.

Source: Shoebox | Bill

In Stores Now Thursday, 10 May 2012, 9:36 pm

Inside: Except for me. I’m special. Right, Mom? Happy Mother’s Day

Source: Shoebox | Shelley

Smithees Thursday, 10 May 2012, 2:00 pm

Source: Shoebox | jsmit13

Newsdroppings Thursday, 10 May 2012, 1:53 pm

A bunch of bicyclers are complaining about a new road sign, but the police chief told them they might as well stop because they’re just spinning their wheels.

A man has collected 38 million air miles. He says he’s holding out for when Delta starts offering flights to Jupiter.

A group of second graders are growing a pizza garden. The hard part was building a cheese-stuffed fence around the plot.

The Olympic torch was lit by “the rays of the sun” in Greece yesterday since no one packed matches under their togas.

Black holes are preventing the creation of new stars. We thought it was because Simon Cowell left Idol.

Sofia Vergara is single!  This might not affect your weekend plans, but some of us just went into a fairly major reprioritizing mode.

A baby was delivered at City Hall, proving once and for all that you can’t fight it. City Hall, you can’t fight City Hall.  Also, you can’t fight babies, but you really should have known that.

Some mail got wet when a delivery truck drove into a pond.  But several catfish who finally got their Field and Stream on time were thrilled!

Andy Warhol’s Elvis just sold for 37 million dollars.  That sounds like a lot of money, but as we reported a couple of days ago, it’s nothing to Scream about.

Source: Shoebox | Bill

Notes From The Meeting: Wednesday, 9 May 2012, 2:33 pm

Source: Shoebox | Shelley

Wednesday, 9 May 2012, 12:53 pm

The guy a terrorist group thought was going to be their suicide bomber was actually a CIA double agent. So, apparently Robert Ludlum is writing for real life now.

Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers hit four home runs last night, which is even more impressive when you consider that he did it in real life and not in a video game.

Scientists say a re-useable grocery bag carried the perfect storm of pathogens, which makes sense since pathogens were 3 for $1.

A man called 911 after finding a bandage in his soup. Turns out the fly was just using it as a life raft.

Would your pet pull you from the path of oncoming train?  Maybe you and your pet need to have a serious talk.

Would your co-workers pull you out of a vat of acid? Maybe you and your co-workers need to have a serious talk.

A mother and her adult son are arguing over lottery winnings. This is exactly the kind of thing that can put a real crimp in Mother’s Day celebrations.

As Americans grow larger, the ratings for The Biggest Loser are shrinking.  Possibly because too many of us are actually on the show and they don’t have TV at the ranch.

The Beach Boys are still performing together, and totally ignoring our suggestion to change their name to “The Creepy Old Guys At the Beach.”

Source: Shoebox | Bill

Happy (Almost) Mother’s Day! Tuesday, 8 May 2012, 9:30 pm

Source: Shoebox | Shelley

burbles Tuesday, 8 May 2012, 2:29 pm

Source: Shoebox | Dick